Mark's Blog

I played a game of cards last night and was winning until the final round came up. The hand I was dealt presented me with a conundrum. If someone went out quickly I would be left with a lot of points and I could lose my sizeable lead in the game. So, I could try and ditch all my high cards for low numbers, forgoing the chance to win the round, or stick with them and create the runs I needed to put some down before anyone else went out. I went for the second more positive and aggressive option. However, after a few turns it didn’t seem to be coming together and I got jittery. Mid-game, I changed tactic and began swapping high for low at every opportunity, the safer option. Not one for normally playing it safe, this change was odd. It soon became apparent that I was never going to get rid of the cards in time and I had blown the chance to put some down, which I certainly would have been able to do had I stayed with plan a. I was caught in no man’s land and was hit for the lot. I lost the game that I had been winning for so long. Upon pondering this rapid demise later in the evening I realised that when you make a decision on something, not just cards, it is best to see it through. Changing, wavering in strategy and conviction can only lead to uncertainty, a lack of focus and failure. Obviously, sometimes the conditions change and you have to adapt, but if your original decision was a well thought out and logical one, you won’t need to tinker too much and a complete u-turn is only required in the most extreme of circumstances. Last night, nothing changed between my original decision and subsequent reversal, so the change was not warranted or justified. I’m over the defeat now, even considering my strong competitive nature, and next time, maybe tonight, I’ll be ready…

On set there are always plenty of negatives. A sad, but true, fact. I think it’s how you cope with those issues at the time that can define the shoot overall. If you always curse your misfortune this can lead to feelings of victimisation by some higher power and lends itself to a hard luck story at the end. You could take the easy option and throw in the towel, using some unforeseen circumstances as an excuse to jump ship early and side-step the real issues. In both of these scenarios you will surely look back on the shoot not with fondness, but with feelings of bile and hatred. This can only lead to a delay in your next experience on set or taking lots of baggage with you when you do.

Alternatively, you can try and turn every negative into a positive. I did say “try.” It may seem obvious to say it, but it is amazing how many people continually moan about something that has gone against them rather than try and use it in a constructive way. This is certainly something I try and do. It’s not always possible. For example, I can think of no positive for the damage I inflicted on my car bumper when I reversed into a fence post after filming for 12 hours straight (my first ever crash in 14 years of driving by the way). I have tried to turn the changed shot due to Police interference into a positive, but my brain is struggling to accept this at present, mourning the lost shot I had planned so carefully. However, on the whole I think I am pretty adept at looking on the bright side. This outlook has served me well and it allowed me to have a great, even relaxed, time on set.

The most obvious example was when we stopped outside my house to re-group before moving to the next location. There were a few cars, so I parked on the road. We were inside for only around 10 minutes when one of the actors shouted through to me that I was getting a parking ticket. I rushed outside and said that I lived there. However, the Traffic Warden said that because he had already put the ticket on the car, it was too late. I was clearly angry, given I was parked outside of my own house and the road was empty, so he told me to appeal. We then went on to the next location. I was seething. When you are stretching to make a film on a low-budget out of your own pocket every penny counts and I wasn’t happy about spending £35 to park outside of my own house for 10 minutes. As I let out my anger in discussions with Paul about inflicting revenge on traffic wardens, we got thinking, and a new scene presented itself that would otherwise have never been in the film. I wish I could go into more detail, but alas, for now the details must remain anonymous. The new scene however is beautiful, works in the overall structure of the film and offers something that every audience member will emphasise with. Now that is what I call turning a negative into a positive. On top of that, I did appeal and I got the parking ticket cancelled!

As a footnote to the above, this is not the first time I have received a parking ticket for parking outside of my own house. My appeal last time was not so straightforward and I was forced to bring in my MP and local Counsellor to help. The main issue is that Oxford Council have sub-contracted the residents parking scheme to a large Multinational company. Having told us a few years ago that the scheme was being introduced in our area due to potential problems with NHS staff parking on our road (something which was and has never happened on our road) for the protection of the local residents, it became apparent to me that this wasn’t the case and the Multinational company were stalking the residents on our own street trying to make money out of us. I wasn’t going to let this rest on a matter of principle. If you interested, many won’t be, have a read below of the letter that I sent. The end result? I got the ticket cancelled and the traffic warden disciplined, just as I told him I would on the day. I like to be true to my word!

Or not. I can’t find the letter which I thought was archived! Shame, it was a classic. If I find it at some point I will update the post with it.

It’s cliché, but I’ll say it anyway, “and that’s a wrap!” Silent Terror has officially finished principle photography. Bar a couple of possible re-shoots in late June, we have done it. We have been filming for just under 8 weeks. It has been a tough time. I suppose it was always going to be. Working with such a low-budget means you have to take on a lot of tasks yourself. Paul and myself have done a tremendous amount of work, more than could reasonably be expected, but we were both focussed on getting the film made to as high a standard as possible. Paul has been terrific and without him the toll on me would have become unbearable. The opportunity to bounce ideas off people is also useful and prevents me from going into full perfectionist mode.

This final part of the shoot has been about mopping up the scenes that will fill in to tie it all together. That doesn’t mean they aren’t important and were easy to film. Indeed, this part of the shoot had us working with the most extras yet, upwards of 20 at a time, and this presented its own challenges. Fortunately everyone was very amenable and accommodating. A couple of hiccups cropped up, but they didn’t spiral to knock us off track. While out on the road a paramedic become overzealous in his attempt to patrol the streets like a Policeman and we side-stepped a potential problem involving a dangerous stunt to produce a terrific scene as a result.

It’s funny how quickly you release the tension. I already feel the burden has lifted. I didn’t fully appreciate how much the production took out of me, but now it has finished it has really hit me. Having been full of energy for the entire shoot, working crazy hours, etc, I now suddenly feel exhausted, barely able to put one foot in-front of the other. It’s clearly time for a short break with my neglected family before moving fully into post-production, which although time consuming, isn’t as frenetic and stressful as shooting. I have had a great time though and I now feel more able to deal with production than every previously. I am already sifting through my large collection of film ideas to decide on the next feature project, hopefully with a larger budget.

Friday 21st May to Monday 24th were four of the biggest days of my filmmaking life so far. We filmed for around 60 out of 80 hours, with a 21 hour stint on Saturday from 4am until 1am. It was worth it though. The quality of footage was tremendous and we shot the spine of the film. Everything hinged on this weekend. All of the strands we had shot so far came off this central story, so it was imperative to get it right. The weather was with us, bright sunshine, which was ideal. It was a little hot, but I wasn’t going to complain. Overall we were on schedule most of the time, bar Saturday night when we finished two hours late. We worked with the most number of actors yet and we had a great atmosphere on set all weekend. Considering how much we had to do, it was pretty relaxed, which helped everyone enjoy the shoot and give some terrific performances. We have been blessed with this film and I have been lucky enough to work with some talented, enthusiastic and dedicated professional actors who have done themselves enormous credit. It has been the most enjoyable shoot I have ever done and has definitely been a unique experience. I am talking as if it is over, but it isn’t, not quite yet anyway. We have just three days left, Saturday to Monday. Then, we should be wrapped. I can’t believe it is so close to the end. We seem to have been in production forever and the end always seemed so far off. I can’t believe we have done so much. So much thought, writing and planning has gone into the film and now it is nearly all shot. We started on Friday 9th April and all in all it will have been just over seven weeks in production. I am certainly going to be ready for a break… of an hour or two, before I start editing!

Last week we filmed 5 days of key, dramatic, emotionally draining scenes, culminating in a stressful shoot on Monday night that can only be described as surreal. The end result? Many of the big, climactic scenes of the film are in the can and looking very good. The spine of the film has definitely been broken. As has my spine come to think of it!

This block of filming saw production move up a notch. More actors, more locations, and more specific and intricate shots. However, for the majority of time it went very smoothly. Thursday night was a good lead in to the weekend. We were over schedule by about an hour, but we got a few versions of the scene. Friday was more hectic, but again it went calmly and this time to schedule. The key scene of the evening was captured in the first take, so we left it at that. I have found scenes break into two camps generally. Some lend themselves to one take, with the first take having a vibrancy and kinetic energy that bring it alive. Once this has sparked, it is difficult to replicate and each subsequent take feels increasingly numb and devoid of emotion. Then on the other end of the spectrum are those scenes that with each take become more polished and refined, with cast and crew more accomplished in their performances. As Director I can mould the content and design of the scene, until we get a take that is great due to the careful evolution that has taken place. This key scene on Friday night fell into the first category. That’s not to say it was off-the-cuff. We drilled it beforehand, so that when we came to shoot we were primed, but the emotional energy had been charged up, ready for release.

My phrase, “just one more”, took on new levels in this block, particularly on Monday. I don’t deliberately set out to deceive people, lulling them into a false sense of security that the scene is nearly shot. Each time I say it, I genuinely think (hope?) that this will be the last take. However, more often than not, there is something small, probably insignificant, that I pick up, and then I reel out the nearing immortal phrase, “just one more!”

Saturday presented us with some new challenges and the crew had to work hard on the set-up to get the right flow. This put us behind schedule, but somehow we pulled it back on course before the unmoveable end time. This location is pivotal in the film and we only secured it the week earlier. Previous to that we had been desperately trying to find something suitable, but coming up empty, leading to much stress. Fortunately, something dropped in and we got the perfect location for many of the more high profile scenes.

Sunday was a straightforward and hiccup free shoot. I even commented to Paul that it felt too easy. He said “don’t say that, not yet”, and he was right to have such caution. However, neither of us could have foreseen the events that were to come on Monday evening.

Monday evening had the lot. A tight schedule, Police interference, excess traffic and an obsessive Director. The first shot went on way too long. My fault, no doubt. We had a few workable versions, but in my never-ending search of perfection, I kept on pushing. We were on the last take (yeah right I hear you say) and we were trying something slightly different, before moving on to the next shot, which was already planned and lined up. At that point, mid-take, the Police pulled up and started shouting at us. Apparently you can’t film in a stationary car. Make note, a “stationary” car. So, it is okay to drive along filming at 70mph, but stop, pull up safely on the side of the road (well, on double yellow lines on a roundabout, but curiously they were not bothered about that!) and go directly to jail, do not pass go and do not collect £200. I’m so pleased the Police are there protecting our streets, making good use of our hard earned tax and stopping people filming in stationary cars. So, we had to ditch the last take of the alternative version, fine I could accept that, just, but we also had to move the car and thus completely disrupt the next shot. We then had to think on our feet and come up with an alternative. This knocked me off stride. Even though the new shot was perfectly fine, I was still ruffled that my carefully crafted shot had been thrown out of the window. After the time it took to decide on the new shot and get it, we were probably 45 minutes behind on an otherwise already insanely tight schedule. The pressure was on and it did not let up until we finished, an hour later than planned. For the first time during filming, the set was tense. Both Paul and myself had to keep everyone right on focus and keep shooting almost continuously. Paul had to keep me on a tight leash too and ensure my perfectionism didn’t completely derail us.

We got through and without the time to check the footage we just had to hope we got the shots. I checked the rushes this morning and they were better than they felt at the time. It’s funny that when you are stressed and in the midst of production chaos, it is easy to think you are just not getting anything right and that it is all going wrong. Then in the cold light of day, you sit down calmly, relaxed, rested (or not considering my unwell baby daughter had been up all night crying!), and you realise that your team of talented cast and crew collaborated in a melting pot of intense conditions to create something special. A mixture of relief and excitement. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the next shoot on Saturday.

When Joe Royle was once Manager of Everton, he said a week’s thorough and meticulous preparation on the training ground always degenerated into 90 minutes of madness on a Saturday afternoon. The same is true for filmmaking. But in this case months, if not years, of careful thought and planning crumble away on set as you have to adapt to a variety of fluctuating and uncontrollable conditions. Without a large budget you are at the mercy of outside factors and constrained with logistics you lose control to get things as you planned. Making a low-budget is definitely an exercise in compromise. Not all the time, but a lot of it and there is no alternative. You just have to accept that fact or it will drive you mad. As long as you are still delivering the story in broadly the manner you intended, you have to let go of the intricacies you have in your head and the utopian film with perfect shots that you envisaged. My goal is to one day have a budget substantial enough that I can banish the word “compromise” from my vocabulary and I will never have to say again, “We have probably got the shot. It’s not perfect, I’m not 100% happy, but it will have to do. We are behind schedule and we have to move on.” It really hurts when you have to make sacrifices like that. However, there is a time and a place when you have to take it on the chin and accept it. Producing Silent Terror is opening up a World of possibilities for me in my Directing, however, the nature of the low-budget shoot is also constraining me. That’s not to say I am disappointed with the results of Silent Terror. Far from it. I think it represents the single biggest leap in my filmmaking career so far and has a unique story that is being delivered dynamically. I’m just airing a hint of frustration that comes from a desire to make truly great films. A few years ago, after watching another poor film, I decided that if I could not make films that were unique, special, then I would give up on my life-long pursuit. Right now, I feel that goal is more attainable than ever. I’ll just have to live with the compromises for now. Hopefully one day I will be able to fully capitalise on the significant progress I am making and finally deliver on my lofty ambitions.

Tonight, we start filming again after a 2 week break, bar a couple of small scenes. I am desperate to get back into production as it was all going so well. It’s a shame that we had to halt and have such a break, but on a low budget film like this it becomes almost necessary for the shoot to be drawn out. That way it can be arranged around everyone’s other commitments and further planning and organisation can be carried out in-between. So it is frustrating, but a necessary evil. Momentum is such a crucial part to the success of any project and it is disappointing that we couldn’t build on what we had by filming more sooner. However, we now have a good 5 day block of filming and we are getting into some key and dramatic scenes, so I think we will get drawn back in very quickly. I’m looking forward to it and raring to go!

Sunday 18th April marked my first ever festival entry. Perception was premiered at the London Independent Film Festival. Definitely a landmark, albeit a small one in my grander plan. My ambition is to move way beyond this and attract a significantly larger audience, with films that are truly worthy of an audience’s time and thought. Still, this was a nice step forward. I have previously entered some of my films into a handful of festivals, but have never been fortunate to have one accepted. I thank the Erich Schultz and the London Independent Film Festival for giving me the chance of seeing Perception on the big screen. It was an enjoyable day and a nice reward for the small team involved with the film. Check out the footage from the day.

After the hysteria that greeted the arrival of the first part of the Silent Terror shoot, the relaxed nature of the second part was a welcome relief. We were organised, prepared and focussed. It was clearly evident from the outset. We got to location early Saturday morning and began setting up. I had already planned the shots, but I ran through all the ideas again to refine the scene before talking with the cast. We wanted to try and get a long sweeping shot, but this proved difficult for a number of reasons, including a pneumatic drill, inconsiderate drivers wanting to get into their garage and the quick change in camera settings required to adapt from the glaring sun outside to the dark interior. So, we broke the scene down into 3 component parts. This worked well and we got lots of nice shots. It has to be said the weather was perfect again, just as it was last week. Beaming sun. At present it definitely feels like the Gods are with us. The morning shoot went a little over schedule, but it was worth taking the time to get it right. We then got a couple of small scenes shot in the afternoon, before taking a break. Yes, a break. This is unheard of for me on set. I also ate lunch AND dinner. Glutton. I still didn’t drink enough water throughout the day though and ended up with a headache on Sunday for the Perception premiere. Anyway, after our break it was on to the evening shoot. This scene required a few extras. When they all arrived we ran through the set-up. We then got two takes of the scene in the can. One looked particularly good, added to by the fact that it was very close to a road accident! We wrapped for the day just before midnight. Definitely a good day. Saturday also saw Nick Rhymes come on set for the first time. Nick is shooting a behind the scenes documentary of the film. He has been around for a while and been shooting stuff while we have been planning, but this was the first on set footage he got. We were supposed to shoot on Sunday too, but this had been postponed due to Perception showing at the London Independent Film Festival.

Paul and myself reviewed the rushes last night. We were both thrilled with what he saw. Some of the shots are so cinematic, with a dark, menacing mood. The images will merge perfectly with the original music score being composed. We have a short break in shooting for a few weeks now. This gives us time to prepare the remainder of the shoot, which is great, but it does threaten our rhythm and momentum slightly. Everyone seems to be getting in a swing and the production is really clicking. I am confident we can keep this vibe going though and might try and schedule some evening shoots before the next big block. We realised last night we have nearly a fifth of the film shot already, which seems to have happened very quickly!

At the meeting last night we also discussed the script. It was always our intention to let Silent Terror evolve organically from the script and it has started to do that. Based on our experience so far we identified what was working and developed some of the future scenes so that they continue to build on what we have shot so far. It also came to our attention that the film was going to be way over length, which allowed us to get the hatchet out and trim it down. It is now looking lean and sharp, with an improved flow. One thing’s for sure, you won’t get bored watching this film.

Music is a big part of my script writing and I am constantly searching for new artists that inspire me. Check out my Spotify Recommendations playlist. This will be constantly updated when I find new music I just have to share.

http://open.spotify.com/user/goldtosh/playlist/2Cbs8GZQYtBwr479KiYogj